Y’all, sex machines are where it’s at if you want hands-free fun in the bedroom (or wherever else you get frisky). These bad boys use mechanical thrusting or stroking to simulate the in-and-out motions of sex so you can lay back and enjoy the ride.
The Hismith Premium model topped our list as the best bang for your buck. It’s got a powerful 100-watt motor, adjustable height so you can hit all the right spots, and it’s made sturdy as hell with stainless steel. Major bonus: it won’t break the bank at around $500 clams.
If you’re watching your wallet, the Velvet Thruster Mini Teddy gives you 128 lusty thrusts per minute for just $159. Damn! With its strong suction cup base and tapered tip, it’s beginner-friendly for sure. Just stick it to a smooth surface and let it work its magic.
Riding more your style? Saddle up to the Motorbunny Buck, which has unique attachments to tickle your clit or G-spot. Dual controls let you or your partner take the reins too. Only downside is it’s over a grand.
Get down with someone long distance? The Lovense sex machine is app-controlled for remote playtime. Its stainless steel bod has power to spare when you dial it up.
If money’s no object, treat yourself to a high-roller brand like Shockspot. We’re talking aircraft-grade aluminum and stainless steel machines running $2100+ with premium power and old-school dial controls.
No matter which one you pick, be sure to care for it right with regular cleaning. And follow the instructions – safety first when you’re playing with powerful sex machines!
Hismith Premium Sex Machine
The Hismith Premium model is the cream of the crop when it comes to sex machines. This bad boy is made with solid steel rods so you know it can withstand some serious action. It’s got a 100-watt motor that delivers up to 240 thrusts per minute – yeah, per minute! Whether you’re a beginner or a seasoned pro, the Hismith delivers on power and performance.
The best part is this machine is totally adjustable, with 6 inches of stroke length to hit your sweet spots just right. And it works with different dildos thanks to the handy Klicklok attachment system. Control it up close with the wired dial or take it long distance with the app – versatility for the win!
Pros:
- Sturdy stainless steel build can take a pounding
- 100-watt motor delivers up to 240 thrusts/minute
- Adjustable height and stroke length
- Works with different dildos
- Remote and app control options
Cons:
- It’s pretty bulky/heavy
- Exposed moving parts could snag hair
Velvet Thruster Mini Teddy
If you’re on a budget but still want powerful thrusting action, say hello to the Mini Teddy. For just $159 this petite thrusting dildo delivers the goods with a robust motor and deep strokes. Suction cup this bad boy to a hard, smooth surface and you can enjoy hands-free fun in multiple positions.
The tapered tip makes insertion easy peasy while the veined shaft and rounded head provide realistic sensations. With 6 speeds to choose from, you can start slow and work your way up. Just watch your fingers around the moving parts!
Pros:
- Most affordable sex machine option
- Strong suction cup sticks securely
- Realistic silicone detailing on dildo
- Simple two-button control interface
- Quiet motor with 6 thrusting speeds
Cons:
- Loud whirring noise
- Deep thrusts not ideal for clit stimulation
Motorbunny Buck
If you like being on top, hop on the Motorbunny Buck for a wild ride. This saddle-style sex machine has unique attachments that deliver insanely powerful clit and G-spot stimulation as you control the movements.
The Buck comes fully loaded with a bunch of silicone attachments, a Vac-U-Lock adapter to use your fave dildos, and even restraint cuffs for some kinky play. Dual controls allow you or your partner to dial in the perfect setting, from a gentle purr to a hardcore gallop.
Pros:
- Innovative attachments provide clit and G-spot stimulation
- Vac-U-Lock adapter for customizable play
- Restraint cuffs included for BDSM
- Robust construction supports up to 400 pounds
- Dual dial controller or app control
Cons:
- It’s crazy expensive at over $1500
- Attachments can be noisy during use
Lovense Sex Machine
Get your long-distance freak on with the Lovense sex machine, our top pick for app control. Sync it to the Lovense Remote app for teledildonic play – you control the machine thrusts from anywhere while your partner enjoys the ride.
This stainless steel thrusting machine has a turbo motor to deliver powerful strokes, going up to 300 thrusts per minute. The interchangeable silicone dildo heads cater to different tastes. Just be warned, the higher settings can get a little shaky!
Pros:
- Seamless app integration for remote play
- Sturdy stainless steel construction
- Turbo motor with 300 strokes per minute
- Comes with two silicone dildo attachments
- Wired controller or app control options
Cons:
- Can get shaky at higher speeds
- Included dildos are lower quality
Shockspot Sex Machines
If only the best will do, Shockspot machines bring the luxe with aircraft-grade aluminum and stainless steel construction. These premium thrusting machines will set you back a pretty penny, starting around $2100, but they deliver on power and performance.
Shockspot really steps up the game with unique features like the ability to control thrust acceleration and save custom patterns. The Vac-U-Lock adapter ensures compatibility with all your fave dildos. While pricey, you get what you pay for with these sex machines!
Pros:
- High-end materials for ultimate durability
- Unique control of thrust acceleration
- Feature to save custom patterns
- Powerful motor with extreme torque
- Compatible with different attachments
Cons:
- Budget-busting expensive price tag
- Software is CD-ROM only
KTM (Ken’s Twisted Mind)
For American-made quality, KTM fuck machines bring the heat. These bad boys are hand-crafted with pride right here in the US of A. The attention to detail really comes through in features like the adjustable angles and solid steel bases for maximum stability.
KTM offers a bunch of different machine models so you can find your perfect fit. The Monster Cock has a rock solid base that can support the most intense suction cup dildo play. Pick your poison and hold on tight!
Pros:
- Multiple machine models to choose from
- Solid steel construction and welding
- Fully adjustable angles during use
- Compatible with attachments like Fleshlights
Cons:
- Doesn’t include attachments
- US sales only for some models
Cloud 9 F-Slider
Sometimes you gotta put in a little work to earn your happy ending. The F-Slider fuck chair lets you control the action by rocking your hips to glide the dildo in and out. No batteries or power needed – just your own thigh power!
The wide, padded seat provides a comfortable base for marathon self-propelled sessions. Handlebars give added stability as you pick up speed. This quiet machine is perfect for discreet play anytime.
Pros:
- Manual power – no batteries/electricity required
- Padded seat and handlebars for comfort/stability
- Ultra-quiet sliding action
- Angle adjusts by changing position
- Works for solo or partner play
Cons:
- Not automated – requires physical effort
- Included dildo is poor quality
Hismith Quadruple Penetration
Double your pleasure with the Hismith Quadruple Penetration machine, featuring two thruster arms for simultaneous vaginal and anal action. Like the original Hismith, it uses solid steel rods for unstoppable stability even on the highest settings.
With fully adjustable angles and the Klicklok system, it’s compatible with all your favorite double dongs. The wireless remote makes it easy to control the hard and fast action from across the room. Get ready for ecstasy overload!
Pros:
- Sturdy stainless steel construction
- Fully adjustable angles up to 360 degrees
- Comes with two dildos for double fun
- Wireless remote for hands-free control
- Quiet yet powerful motor
Cons:
- One of the pricier models at $700+
- Takes up a lot of storage space
Hismith Pro Traveller 2.0
Pack up the passion and take it on the road with the ultra-portable Pro Traveller from Hismith. This pint-sized thrusting machine delivers big pleasure anywhere with its strong suction cup base that sticks to smooth flat surfaces.
Despite the compact size, it has a robust motor and wireless remote for hands-free fun. The adjustable arm bends to hit just the right angle. Add the optional storage bag for easy travel and discreet portability.
Pros:
- Lightweight and compact for travel
- Suction base provides hands-free use
- Wireless remote control included
- Powerful motor in a petite package
- Arm adjusts angle up to 120 degrees
Cons:
- Plastic construction feels cheaper
- Suction struggles on porous surfaces
Kiiroo Keon
Dudes, this one’s for you! The Kiiroo Keon turns a regular ol’ stroker sleeve into an automated pleasures machine. With the touch-responsive buttons on the ergonomic casing, you control the speed and depth of strokes.
Sync it to interactive porn, virtual reality, or your partner’s Kiiroo toy for high-tech play. The rechargeable battery supports up to 90 minutes of bliss. Cleanup is easy since the slimy sleeve pops out. A futuristic option for next-level masturbation!
Pros:
- Automates stroking with touch controls
- Highly interactive connectivity features
- 90 minutes of play per charge
- Sleeve is removable for easy cleanup
- Compatible with different stroker textures
Cons:
- Limited sleeve options currently
- App connectivity can be glitchy
Closing thoughts
- Sex machines are mechanical devices that simulate penetrative sex through thrusting or stroking motions. They allow for hands-free pleasure.
- The Hismith Premium Sex Machine is ranked as the best overall sex machine due to its stability, power, build quality, and versatility. It has a 100-watt motor and adjustable height.
- The Velvet Thruster Mini Teddy is the top budget pick at just $159. It has a strong motor, suction cup base, and tapered design for easy use.
- For a saddle-style sex machine, the Motorbunny Buck is recommended for its robust construction, unique attachments, and dual control options.
- The Lovense Sex Machine is the best app-controlled option, allowing remote control via smartphone. It has a powerful motor and solid stainless steel body.
- Premium brands like Shockspot offer high-end aluminum and stainless steel machines starting around $2100. They boast strong torque motors and classic dial controls.
- Factors to consider when purchasing a sex machine include power, materials, special features, versatility with attachments, price, and noise level.
- Proper cleaning and maintenance is required, especially with porous attachment materials like TPE. Follow all safety guidelines during use.